What do you call a snail on a ship?
A snailor.

How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A buck an ear.

There's a small German town near Munich called Pfilzerplatz, and the town isrenowned for producing fine stationery. Anyway, Munich had a problem --the thousands of stray dogs in the city were breeding with one another andoverrunning the city. So the people of Munich banded together and ran thedogs out of the city. Unfortunately, the dogs appeared in Pfilzerplatz. Thedogs took over everything, and the mayor decided to evacuate the town. Thepaper mills were shut down, and everyone left.But a couple days later, the townsfolk, watching their town from the hills,saw smoke rising from the smokestacks. They knew no humans were left in thetown, so they concluded that the dogs had learned to operate the factories.The mayor hurried to Munich's town hall and pleaded, "You've got to help us!The mills are alive with the hounds of Munich!"

What do you call a loaf of bread when you cut off both ends?
Endless Bread!

Where does the catcher sit for dinner?
Behind the plate.