Have you heard the joke about the flying sandwich?
Nope.
Neither have I.

Two vultures boarded an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. Thestewardess looked at them and said, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrionper passenger is allowed."

What can you sit on, brush your teeth with, and eat soup with?
A chair, a toothbrush, and a spoon.

Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
They all have phones.

When can your car stop the quickest?
When it's brakefast time.