Where do books sleep?
Under their covers.
Top rated jokes
So all the possible functions are having a party. They're drinking, dancing, chatting each other up, and generally having a great time. Somewhere off in an n-dimensional corner, e^x is sitting all by his lonesome. A group of expenential functions is standing nearby. So 2^x comes up to e^x and says "Come on, man, don't sulk like that, integrate yourself with the rest of us", to which e^x replies "What for, it wakes no difference??"
Jesus has been crucifixed and reappears to his disciples. He tells them that he will grant them a wish before he ascends into heaven.
The disciples get together and confer. After much arguing Peter says "Could you do that walking on water thing again? It was so cool".
Jesus smiles, agrees and the next day they set out onto the sea of Gallilee in Peter's boat. They stop far from the shore and Jesus steps off the side of the boat onto the water.
He immediately disappears under the surface and the disciples rush to drag him back into the better. Jesus looks flustered, but vows to have a second go.
Once again he steps off the boat and sinks quickly below the surface. The disciples drag him back and apologize for having asked him to walk on water.
But Peter begins to doubt in the Messiah and can't help asking why Jesus can't repeat the miracle. "Oh, I can", Jesus insists, "at least I could before I had these bloody holes in my feet".
The disciples get together and confer. After much arguing Peter says "Could you do that walking on water thing again? It was so cool".
Jesus smiles, agrees and the next day they set out onto the sea of Gallilee in Peter's boat. They stop far from the shore and Jesus steps off the side of the boat onto the water.
He immediately disappears under the surface and the disciples rush to drag him back into the better. Jesus looks flustered, but vows to have a second go.
Once again he steps off the boat and sinks quickly below the surface. The disciples drag him back and apologize for having asked him to walk on water.
But Peter begins to doubt in the Messiah and can't help asking why Jesus can't repeat the miracle. "Oh, I can", Jesus insists, "at least I could before I had these bloody holes in my feet".
A Bostoner is visiting Austin, admiring a large bronze statue. One of the locals approaches and says, "This here's a Texas Ranger."
The Bostoner says, "We have a statue like this in my hometown, a statue of Paul Revere."
The Texan thinks about this for a long moment. "Is that that guy who had'ta git help?"
The Bostoner says, "We have a statue like this in my hometown, a statue of Paul Revere."
The Texan thinks about this for a long moment. "Is that that guy who had'ta git help?"
An American, a Japanese man, and a man from a Botswana are in a sauna. There is a ringing sound the American makes his hand into a phone shape, whispers, "Phone call," to the other two men, and answers it. Then, there's a beeping noise the Japanese man taps his wrist several times, and says, "I'm being IM'ed." The Botswanan goes to the bathroom, and when he comes back, there's toilet paper trailing from his ass. The American says, "You know, uh, you have some toilet paper back behind..."
"I'm getting a fax."
"I'm getting a fax."
A big scary looking man comes to a trader in a slave market. "Can you sell me ten slaves for some, uh, fun". "Of course" says the trader. The man picks 10 fittest male slaves, orders them to stay in line and then takes a gun and shoots nine of them at random. The surprised trader asks: "Why the hell didn't you buy just one instead of wasting 9 perfectly good slaves". The man answers: "That's just not the same... Look at that last guy - he has such a tight ass now!"
A guy was walking down the street when he noticed a little boy walking aroundwith a piece of steak on his head. So he asked, "Little boy, why do you have apiece of steak on your head?""I'm not a boy," the boy answered. "I'm a fork."