Top rated jokes

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How do you catch a green elephant?
Paint him red and catch him with the red elephant trap.
  • Currently 4.5/5 Stars.
How do you catch a rabbit?
Hide in a meadow and make carrot noises.
  • Currently 4.5/5 Stars.
tags: cat rabbit carrot
What's red and not there?
No tomatoes.
  • Currently 4.5/5 Stars.
tags: red
A woman is in the maternity ward, having just given birth to her baby. The doctor comes in, cradling the child in his arms. As he is about to give it to the woman, he drops it on the ground, kicks it into the wall then throws it out the window.

"OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY?!?!?!"

The doctor turns to her, smiles, and says, "April Fools. It was a stillborn."
  • Currently 4.5/5 Stars.
A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey pirate, do you know you've got a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?" The pirate says "Arrrh, I know, it's drivin me nuts"
  • Currently 4.5/5 Stars.
Two television sets got married. The wedding was boring, but the reception wasbeautiful.
  • Currently 4.33333/5 Stars.
tags: wedding
What's red and looks like a bucket?
A red bucket.
  • Currently 4.33333/5 Stars.
tags: red
Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?



A: You wanna go ride bikes!!!
  • Currently 4.33333/5 Stars.
tags: kids
Q: Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

A: Because they're ugly and they smell bad.
  • Currently 4.33333/5 Stars.
tags: women ugly
two irish men walk into a bar



you thoght one of them would have seen it!
  • Currently 4.25/5 Stars.
tags: n/a
Results 11 - 21 of 963
Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 97