Top rated jokes

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Who does Christopher Reeve want to be?



Christopher Walken.
  • Currently 4/5 Stars.
tags: n/a
What's red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
  • Currently 4/5 Stars.
tags: red blue paint
What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
  • Currently 4/5 Stars.
tags: help
What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on him?
Nothing. He just let out a little wine.
  • Currently 4/5 Stars.
tags: elephant
What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple?

Getting hit by a truck.
  • Currently 4/5 Stars.
tags: n/a
Why did it take three burly Boy Scouts to help the old lady across the street?
Because she didn't want to go.
  • Currently 4/5 Stars.
tags: help boy
Two muffins are in the oven. One looks over and says, "Gee, don't you think it's hot in here?" and the other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!!!! A talking muffin!!!"
  • Currently 4/5 Stars.
tags: n/a
A director decides that he's going to make a movie based on the livesof famous classical composers. Looking for a prospective cast, he asksSylvester Stallone which composer he would like to play in the movie. Stallonethinks for a moment and says, "I like Mozart. Let me be Mozart."The director then turns to Arnold Schwarzenegger and asks him who he'dlike to play. Arnold replies, "I'll be Bach!"
  • Currently 4/5 Stars.
tags: mom
What is brown and sticky?

A stick!
  • Currently 4/5 Stars.
tags: stick
How do you catch a polar bear?



First dig an ice hole. Then put a whole bunch of little green peas on the outside, and when the polar bear comes to take a pee you kick him in the ice hole.
  • Currently 4/5 Stars.
tags: cat bear green
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